If you are still there, gentle reader, I can finally report that I'm on my way again. And now there are only 10 more sleeps before I leave home and begin my 2010 vacation which includes the all-important activities in Los Angeles. Hollywood, even.
There are two kinds of being stuck for this writer.
One is just the regular there's-a-blank-page-and-I-can't-go-on, which is normally handled with good old-fashioned procrastination. Laundry to do, bathrooms to clean, plants to transplant all become more important when you're that kind of stuck. Eventually you just sit down and write the thing because while you are planting plants and upside down in toilet bowls, your mind is working on something that you can write down.
This particular term of stuckedness was not this variety at all. It was a deeper, scared-y-cat, I-can't-do-this kind of stuck. When you believe that you can't do it, your mind doesn't work on anything at all, and in fact you think you'd better just lie down rather than clean the house. This is the worst kind of stuck, because you don't really see a way past. The energy I have been using for sheer determination has run out. I'm tired.
In desperation I called out to my former writing partner, long since lost to cancer. No, he didn't answer, and no, I didn't feel his presence. I didn't even think about him again. I just sat down and began to add the ones, then the twos, and compared them with the script I've already written, which gave me some threes, and before you know it, I had broken through! Four straight hours and the elusive "beat sheet" is done!
I was so happy I did a little happy dance around the apartment, even though it was after 11:00 and I actually chortled, and laughed out loud, and yes, I remembered to thank Alex, justincase, and Zoooooooom! I am back to loving what I'm doing!
Assignment 11 came out today, and I "only" need to make up 7, 8, 9, and 10! And meantime I'm making lists of what to pack, and trying to get other things ready for my trip. And that's okay! I feel now I have a complete story, and guess what? I can see the humour in it!
